She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
