So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
