i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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