so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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