i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
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