she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
