i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize