ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
