Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
do nipples grow back?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
