Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
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I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
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Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
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