Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
