my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize