I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
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