if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
