I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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