Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
