u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
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