Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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