the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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