You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
