So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
