he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
