I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
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