Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize