I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
