I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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