so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
