U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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