Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
