It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
