Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
