I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
