The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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