Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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