Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize