I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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