her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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