Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
