So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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