i think my mom watched the whole time
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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