i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
