I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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