Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
