Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
