i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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