I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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