i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
