it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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