I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
lol hangovers are for mortals.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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