Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize