So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
