So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
