nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
