I think I just saw someone hide a body.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Randomize
