How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
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