did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize