he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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