I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
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