She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
