I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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