I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
