she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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